For quite sometime..

For quite sometime, I forgot my dear blog existed.

Meantime, I have crossed many uniquely different bends in my road, each bringing with it the inevitable element of surprise. (Yes, I read a couple of more Anne books ;) )

In the marathon of life, we have been running and in the process, grown old of certain things dear to us. Pardon the simile, but just like we grow out of our shoes. And then the shoe holds no purpose. Only memories. Memories of falling down from the bike, of those cherished walks and talks with our loved ones, of the once-upon-a-time good times which can never be the same again.

And then you sneak into new shoes and keep running. You can't afford to stop. The world has brought us to that. However, there comes a moment when you stop short of breath. The only thing on your mind now is the shoe. You find yourself going back to it to kindle memories and bask in the sweetness it brings. And sincerely hope that it gives you that energy to start running again.

Shoe has become blog and I am running frantically, hoping this post gives me the energy for quite sometime.

For quite a long time, have been and will be,

Anne (pronounced Ann, spelled with an e)

Life’s not fair

It is, when you want to throw your mobile with all the force you can muster, and get it over with. Getting to see it shatter into pieces, somehow you can handle the pressure that is breaking your heart to pieces. All the same, you cannot do that, not because the darn thing is costly but because you are helplessly in love with what is frustrating you – “Unconditionally and irrevocably in love”. And they have got to reach you. Or rather you need to cling on to them. Only then do you feel secure. That is why the whole fiasco gets staged. Either stay in love or be an unemotional idiot. Those times, being an unemotional idiot seems better off. You start wondering if it really was love on their part. Or were they simply using you and your-helplessness-in-helping them. Aarrrrghhh! Life’s not fair.

Surprising...

Now, do you get scared at the things life has got in store for you?

These things give you a jolt the first time you think about it. It keeps reeling in your mind, scaring the guts out of you. And then not even knowing fully about it, you shun away from it. You don't wanna do it, don't wanna make any effort to know further about it.

Why does all this happen?

Here's my go at it.

• You have no experience about this, and that scares you… Or we could call it, “Doing something for the first time”

This is natural. The reason why we cry on the first day of kindergarten. The reason why being alone someplace new terrorises you. The reason why anything new sends a shiver down your spine. 

But, I gotta admit not every firsts go like this. There are a lot of things you enjoy doing for the first time. This thing you are scared of- you’ll enjoy it after its over. Darn, the fact is, people just wouldn’t remember that “instant of trembliness” after its all over. All the same you experience it. Ah, and seriously some of you are brave enough, you never get that feeling. I admire people like that.
People like that- I’ll be awfully glad to get pointers from you on how to be brave like that. 

There is this friend of mine, who holds dear this line:

“When was the last time you did something for the first time?”

This whole mighty world has got a place for you in it. You gotta co-exist. There need be no need for you to get scared or tensed about it. Just think about it. Everything is there for you to be a part of. Then why be hesitant at being a part of. Its only “being a part of”. Its not about winning or losing at it. In fact, you can never tell which is which. What is winning to you, maybe the criteria of a total loser to another. So why bother?? Now that doesn’t sound scary at all- just being a part of. 

•  Often it is one of those things you are not interested in, that its got this prologue of trembliness. But then mate, looking at the things ones not interested in…. hmmm…. I’d classify my “enemies” in that list (Again, my friends have told me not to use that notorious term easily on anybody, but as of now :p ). If you aren’t a scorpio (who’d love the chance to get back on their enemies), you are so totally ‘not-interested’ in them and their doings. This leads to the fact that you don’t freak out at having to encounter them, let alone getting scared. Think of that thing (the I-scare-you thing) also in that light. And lo! it doesn’t even matter anymore. 
  

•  Just classify it into one of these and keep reminding yourself about it, everytime an i-scare-you thing pops into your life. Soon enough, it becomes a part of your attitude and you’re happy with it. Its no longer, ‘scary-things’ in your life, but ‘surprises’ of life.
  

“You could be mad as a mad dog at the way things went
You could swear,
Curse the fates….
But when it comes to the end.
You have to let go.”

- The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.


This is all that is,
Anne (pronounced Ann, spelled with an e).

Being...

I'm damn sure all of us experience this (coz its a happened a lot o' times to me, and i'm no supernatural being).

Have you ever been in a state, when you're totally pissed off with the people around you. And it feels so alien because they're the people you always had a hell lot of fun with. Whose company brought you that good sense of life, of living. Physical pain seems nothing then. The emotional turbulence you go through, is so disheartening. You know well enough, this is not what you want to go through, but all the same its happening to you and you are helpless about it. Those times you are convinced you can't do anything about it. You feel people around you are so selfish (somehow i don like that word, i prefer self-centred instead- To me self-centred is more an irony than notorious selfish. N i think irony is one of the most brilliantly conceived ideas). Things really bad (most of them not true) about those people start reeling in your mind. You want to shut if off, but there's a secret yearning to let it continue, to let those not-good ideas take root in your heart. Those times mate, you really need to seal the by-pass from your mind to the heart. Let your mind be strong then. Your heart- let it be vulnerable. No, its good. You've got to let your emotions show. Basic human being. (Being - the verb).
Divert your mind. You'd want to talk about it most probably. You're absolutely sure no one would listen to you, or rather listen for listen-sake. Trust me mate, you'd really want the person listening to you too, to form those ideas in their mind. And you wouldn't be convinced until they do. So there's a lot of controlling your mind's got to do. Let me tell you, don't control that either. Imaginations or thoughts or reminiscences or perceptions need constantly be flowing in your mind. Again- basic human being.

I've arrived at this solution (And that evolved when i began this post).
Seriously do something else.
Most of the times the above is impossible.
Then,
Think about that situation from a new light.
Better still, the vantage point.
Trust me, i know its real difficult.
But once you achieve that, you become a human being you want the earth to be filled with.
And whats more wonderful than being content with one-self.
That mate, is the principle of being.

Happy being,
Anne (pronounced Ann, spelled with an e)

P.S. Excuse me if i make no sense here. But do come back, read this, when you are in a furious state you have no words to explain.