Bedlam broke loose - Right inside my head!!!!

The past two weeks has been one hell of a REALIZATION period...

Come on mate, my teens are over and its now I'm beginning to realise myself. Is this part of becoming mature?? I thought I already am. This truth was like a slap on my face. People just casually come my way and tell stuff I din think were odd.

Realization !

A friend of mine, simply took my mobile to read my msgs. This is weird, right? Well it isn't to him, and I really din bother, cos there was nothing personal that others shouldn't read. So, I let him. He went through my outbox and said "You send such formal msgs. Who cares to reply?" That was the context. And, Sslaaaaaaaaaapppp!!! I set my face, like I din care about it. But it kept reeling on and on in my head. And sitting in class the other day and I don't recall how the topic came about, but my mate Sam says, "You and send such formal msgs. It is very curt. I don feel like continuing the conversation!!" And, Sslaaaaaaaaaaaaappppp!! Again, in room, I tell my room-mate all this and she is like, "Yes, I've noticed this. You don't even put dots after your words let alone a smiley. Why're you so formal?" Sslaaaap!!

Darn it mate, why am I so formal? when there is absolutely no necessity to be so.

Realization @

July is such a special month to me, "My b'day falls on this month"
And I wanted all the posts on this month to signify something special.
I keep thinking
thinking
thinking
and
thinking
as to what I should be writing about
and lo, July is gone.

Why wasn't I able to write the first thing that pops into my head?

I compose my posts in MSWord and then post it here. It never was a type-and-go thing for me.
I take a lot of care before posting. Why? when its not necessary?


Realization #


This realization was brought about from a really funny incident in room. My room mate's got a fish bowl, with two really cute gold fish in em (I've named them nakki and pakki... he he) We forgot the species of fish (Us geeky engineering idiots got stuck with the species name). My roommate was like "Mammalia, reptilia" I laughed at all that and said "Aquaria". Everybody laughed cos its "Pisces"
The reptilia roommate was laughing over my "Aquaria" answer and I sitting on the bunker hit her with my pillow. The pillow cover caught her in the eye and it instantly became red and all swollen. She was suffering and I felt bad like anything. All the laughter was now replaced with REGRET. It was then I realised I'm a girl and supposed to behave like one. God, I feel so bad even now :( Me, realizing I ought to behave like a girl. Very funny, right?

Even now, before my @ realization I was reading through all my friends posts and that helped me with this one. Thanks LV, Michelle, vaishu and harini for helping me :)

Anne (pronounced Ann, spelled with an e).

On Cloud nine :)

Watched Harry Potter on the second day of release….

Splendid movie…

Much, much better and bigger than the previous ones. Though, as usual, you should not revise the book before seeing it ;)

HP rocks,

Anne (pronounced Ann, spelled with an e) 

Spur of the moment- title and otherwise

Well, my fortune line today was: "Lose yourself in service to others" and I was like: "How long?"

Its supposed to be a good quote, make you feel good.... But the minute I read it, I was downright furious.....

This line means:  "Become a better person by serving others".

I'll deal with it like its "Losing your identity by doing things so that others shouldn't feel bad".

That can also roughly translate to "Lose yourself in service to others".

My version... 

Service-

doing others a favour which was not necessary on your part.

Something that makes them not feel uncomfortable.  

You do a little help so that they don't feel bad.  

This little service you do is not gonna mean anything to anybody.  

But you are satisfied you made them feel better.  

Saved them from some embarassment.

I am no supernatural being.  So naturally, I've begun to feel that adjusting to others' temperament hasn't done me any good.  In fact, its my life and whatever I do with it is supposed to make me feel good.  This is one principle I hold dear.  But you tend to drift exactly away from that.... Like this....

You have a conversation with someone- friend, intimate friend, acquaintance, stranger, anyone for that matter.  And later reflecting on the conversation, if for an instant you felt 'what-i-spoke-was-not-me', there- "You've lost your identity bigtime".  

Only when you have an identity for yourself, will people have an idea of who you are and place you in their mind.  But trying to help them by losing your identity is not gonna fetch you that place.  So, be yourself everytime.. Its always easy amidst strangers, but extremely tough amidst your close circle.  But totally necessary if you wanna retain the close circle.  

This is the truth and some of you may have a hard time digesting it.  But believe me mate, its taken a lot from me to be writing negative.  I'm not meaning to tell 'go-against-them'.  Just 'be-yourself-with-them'.  If it doesn't work out, it was never meant to be.  Don't live a lie.  Live life... 

Better 'not' than 'won't',

Anne (pronounced Ann, spelled with an e).

P.S.  I did warn you it was a spur of the moment thing ;) 

Euphoria strikes...

After the sweltering weather in the morning, its begun to rain.  Cool air's blowing all over the place and the sweet aroma of mother earth takes one to Eden.  The weather's just right to get anyone on the dance floor.  And a playlist of the most romantic songs are being played in your laptop.  Someone's just given you a compliment.  You have no reason for the grin thats etched on your face.  Then, Euphoria strikes...

Class is progressing.  The staff is in a desperate attempt at imparting knowledge.  You are physically present, mentally you are touring your childhood days.  Your thought focuses on an incident which gets you laughing.  Suddenly you pop back to reality, and laugh even harder at the thought.  At the same time, trying hard to stifle it so that the staff doesn't notice.   All this, and you just can't stop grinning the whole day.  Then, Euphoria strikes...

This happened to me:  Mam's in class jabbering away.  I remember Coutrallam(a place very famous for the waterfalls).  I must have been five years old.  My mom and grandma are along with me and make me stand under the waterfall.  The force of the coooolll water on my body and the loud roaring sound scare the guts outta me and I run for safety, far away from the falls.  I stand there seeing everyone enjoying the falls, and not wanting to be the one left out, I grab a mug and intently start pouring water from the ground onto my head getting everyone around me to laugh.  This thought in the middle of the class and yes, Euphoria struck. :) 

You're completely stressed for the day.  Sitting in front of the tv, the remote control in your hands, continuously changing channels.  All you want to do is hit the bed and have a good night's rest.  You're yearning for someone who would cuddle you, and soothe away all your worries.  You find a bundle of joy (your pet) right at your foot, looking at you with innocent eyes, as if enquiring if it could be of any help.  All that was bugging you evaporate into thin air and you start playing with your pet.  Then mate, Euphoria strikes...

This happened to me: I was dead scared of pets.  A stray kitten was brought into the family by my sis.  Then on, I would travel the house leaping from furniture to furniture never setting my foot on the ground.  After that a group of neighbouring boys said they wanted to take care of it.  But the kitty never did what they wanted it to do or something, they gave it back to us.  It was at that moment, I realised how much I missed the kitty.  Then on, it was me who played with it.  One such stressful afternoon, the kitty came running towards me.  I settled it on the top of my tummy and would stick my tongue out.  It would do its lopsided run on my body and try to come catch my tongue.  Then I would keep repeating it.  Karupanna (my kitty's name) was a living source of joy and everytime I played with it, Euphoria struck :)

Cheers ppl,

Anne (pronounced Ann, spelled with an e)

Driving me mad!!

I'm in the phase of trying something new this vacation, and its been driving a two-wheeler.  

Its totally funny when i tell you about it, but trust me it wasn't one bit funny while driving.

This could become a universal truth-

Learn driving in my hometown and you can drive in any place in the world.  

I'll tell you why-

The street where my house is situated is bumpy to the core... Laying of roads and then digging pits for one reason or the other has been going on.. So finally the bumpy stretch (my so called street) is in this state..  I can safely bet no ride in an amusement park could be crazier.  I learnt driving a two-wheeler in an outer area of my grandparents' place. Meaning to say, no other vehicle other than mine on the road :p  

So its been one hell of a transition driving here in my hometown.  The two-wheeler I have is no good either.  The horn wouldn't work and so wouldn't the indicators.  So each time I cross a junction I either have to stop and peer my head around the corner to look if any vehicle's headed for the junction or simply have my fingers crossed that none would be there.  This is how I'm driving.  

I get nervous when the person behind me starts saying something (my mom does that, my sis though knows better about my temper and keeps mum- I personally think she silently keeps praying there shouldn't be an accident).  I never once fell down.  However in the learning stage, I had this intention of going towards an opposite vehicle instead of away from it.  Maybe because, I keep thinking there's a vehicle coming opposite my subconscious mind thinks I have a crush towards it or something, that it automatically draws me to it.  ;)  Apart from the stares I get from them, thank goodness there has been no crash.  One thing though, an average runner could easily overtake me. Thats my speed.  The only place I go fast is in the beach road, where again my vehicle is the only one on the road :)  And again I have to kick start my vehicle like crazy to get it started.  

There's many a time I got stranded in the road kicking on my vehicle like crazy, i figured one thing always works. Think of someone who pissed you off and kick,  vrroooom! it starts.  Works everytime ;)

Given all this, I think I should be granted my license without appearing for the exam.  Could there be a test, more vigorous than the one I take everytime I drive?

 

All the same, I enjoy driving :) :) ;)

Cheers ppl, Life's crazy!!

Anne (pronounced Ann, spelled with an e)